Thursday, October 13, 2011

Tried to kick a dog�in its head

October 6, 2011: While in the town of Tacuarembo, I found myself trying to get lost � which is typically not hard for me to do. Coming back off some dirt roads that lead out of the town, I notice some children playing soccer in front of a four walled structure they presumably call home. They stopped playing when I was passing them and just stared at me, following me with their eyes. Even in such a white country as Uruguay, I still seem to stand out. I smiled and said hello as I continued down the road � then it happened�

From the lower right hand corner of my eye I saw a dog coming towards me, being extra quiet�thinking that perhaps he wanted just a little sniff of my clothed sphincter or to maybe hump my leg some. When the dog noticed he was compromised, he reverted from stealth mode to attack mode. Coming at me faster, I thought that he was bluffing me. I started walking faster � suddenly confused about the basic rules of engagement with a dog, I just thought it was better not to look directly at him, using my extremely tooled peripheral vision and I continued moving forward.

He approached me quickly with a sharp set of heat seeking missiles that lined his mouth in a disorder fashion. He went doggy style and came up from behind, telling me something that I didn�t understand nor care to understand. The dog�s behavior showed me that he was obviously not interested in sniffing a grown man�s butts or humping a strange male.

The �flight mode� in me was no longer an option. Turning toward him, I give him a few air kicks to the head. My adrenaline spiked as his smiled at me showing of his pearly whites. The other dogs that were at the house next door were much larger and began to go crazy, beginning to sing as if they were members of a Baptist church choir.

My vision was not crystal clear due to the quick unexpected spike of adrenaline, but since I remembered the other dogs being tied up the first time I passed by when leaving the town, so I focused on my current situation.

After a few more football punter style air kicks, I am glad the dog eventually turned back and stopped following me, going to wherever he came from. I was actually happy today to not be prepared for a confrontation with a dog, rather than a person or persons with not the best intensions. It has been awhile since I was caught off guard. While coming off a substantially large adrenaline spike, I was a tad shaky and a bit dizzy.

Hindsight�I thought, �Why didn�t I have a rock in my pocket?� This is because when typically bad dogs see rocks, they have had prior experience with them being thrown at them, knowing that they hurt. This tactic has a 93.966666% success rate. I wonder if this was the true origin of pet rocks.

So I suppose it is time for me to start traveling with a pet�a pet rock.

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